We all have our habits. Things we do on a routine basis, usually without thinking about it. They make us feel comfortable, normal, busy, etc.
There are habits that can be considered “good”, such as making healthy eating choices, going on walks or exercising, prepping meals, keeping the house clean and organized, etc.
And, of course, there are habits that can be considered “bad”, such as making unhealthy eating choices (choosing a lot of processed junk food & sugary beverages), smoking, avoiding exercise, getting hammered every weekend, etc.
The one equally good and bad thing about habits (depending on the type) is that once you fall into one, it can be damn hard to get out of it. Which is great if the habit is something like having fruit everyday with breakfast, or getting a daily step goal in. But let’s be real, most habits people find themselves falling into tend to be more on the “bad” side.
How can someone ditch their bad habits? And then of course, build good ones?
I’ve struggled with some bad habits throughout the years that I’ve been able to overcome, as well as adopted many good habits that are now pretty locked into my routine. How I did it, you ask? (You probably didn’t ask) But I’ll share!
HOW HABITS ARE FORMED
Habits are formed pretty simply.. We do something that provides some kind of reward. Whatever the reward may be, it drives motivation or desire to do that thing again.
Eventually, after enough repeated behavior, the reward isn’t necessarily a “reward” anymore, but rather, is something that begins to just feel “normal”. As soon as the behavior feels normal to us, it has become a habit. It’s now a regular part of our daily or weekly routine.
This easily explains how bad habits are so commonly formed, in that habits considered to be “bad” tend to provide instant gratification. It’s usually a big reward immediately, and often without much effort. A recipe for getting hooked!
Forming good habits, however, is tougher in that habits considered to be “good” don’t quite provide that instant gratification people love. Instead, they provide more of a delayed gratification, and it usually also requires some work or effort to be put in, first.
Who wants to do that??
BUILDING GOOD HABITS
Since they don’t provide that instant gratification, in order to build good habits, you just kind of have to.. do the hard shit. The things that might seem tedious, boring, physically demanding, etc, but that you know have value.
There’s a great book called Dopamine Nation that describes how pleasure and pain work in the brain to drive our decisions and desires. Just to give a quick snippet, essentially, pleasure and pain come from the same place in the brain, and they work kind of like a see-saw. And since our bodies’ main goal is to achieve homeostasis, or, balance, whenever we experience one end of the “see-saw”, we will inevitably also experience the other.
Knowing that, when people lean into things that provide instant gratification, or immediate pleasure, it’s likely that some kind of pain will be experienced some time after. A lot of times, this can simply be feeling down, depressed, or experiencing anxiety, but this can depend on what the initial behavior was.
When we do the opposite, however, and lean into pain first, such as those tedious and demanding tasks, we end up experiencing pleasure afterwards. This pleasure can simply be (also depending on the initial behavior) being in a great mood, feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment, feeling healthier or having more energy, building discipline, and so much more.
And the most important thing to consider about this pleasure and pain cycle is that whichever one comes first is usually short-lived, and whichever one comes second tends to last longer.
So, in order to build good habits, we just gotta do what kinda sucks.. But doing it knowing that it has value, and will provide that reward after. And that reward will become long-lasting.
And just like doing things that provide pleasure will eventually feel normal, doing things that suck will eventually not suck as much, and will also just feel normal. BOOM, now it’s a habit. This can be done with almost anything.
Focus on the value of the reward, knowing that it will come later.
Then, repetition, consistency, and those good habits will be built overtime.
DITCHING BAD HABITS
A lot easier said than done.
Our brains being wired to recognize a reward, and then being drawn to that reward again and again, isn’t the best system when we live in a world full of easy-to-get, high-rewarding options that are seemingly everywhere.
So what does one do about it??
I’m no expert, but I have had success ditching some of my own bad habits!
MINDFULNESS
It can sometimes sound cliche and overused, but being more mindful can actually be a wonderful mental tool for many reasons, including helping to ditch those bad habits.
First, being mindful simply just means being aware of what you’re doing. Being present and in the moment.
This can help with ditching bad habits because it can allow you to focus on not just the behavior itself, but also the immediate reward from that behavior. Actually think about how the reward makes you feel, and how much value that really has in your life.
This can sometimes help a person realize the behavior isn’t really as rewarding as they might think.
I used to be in the habit of drinking energy drinks everyday, mostly for the flavors. Eventually, it was such an ingrained habit that I realized I was still buying and drinking them every day even though I wasn’t enjoying the flavors anymore. I had gotten used to pretty much everything, and they all tasted kinda meh. But I also got used to the simple habit of getting one every day. One day, though, I started thinking about it – being mindful – and realized it was kind of pointless to get one when they weren’t really “serving” me anymore, and ended up skipping it that day. That mindset helped me to break the daily habit I had. And I’ve used the same mindset for other habits, as well. And I still love an energy drink here and there, just not everyday.
We tend to go about our habits almost like mindless machines. So, stopping to think about it for a minute can help to take control of our actions. We can also be mindful of the pleasure and pain cycle, and know that when we lean into one, it’s usually short-lived, and the other will inevitably follow, and it usually lasts longer.
Mindfulness is great. But how else can someone break a bad habit?
REPLACING THEM
Take a bad habit you have, and try swapping it out with something else. This could be..
- Replacing regular pop with diet pop, or better yet, water
- Replacing late night sweets with fruit, or more fiber at dinner (helps control cravings)
- Replacing screen time with going on a walk
- Replacing having your alarm right next to you with setting it across the room so you have to get up rather than just hit snooze
Idk, stuff like that.
IN A NUTSHELL…
Ditching bad habits and building better ones is definitely not a simple task. We get easily attached to behaviors that give us an immediate reward (usually the “bad” things), then they become a part of our routine and we become used to those behaviors, making it harder to ditch them. And good habits typically don’t provide an immediate reward at first, and they can take more time to build. The good news is, it’s possible.
Things to consider when aiming to build good habits and ditch bad ones..
- Practice mindfulness
- Know the value of “good” habits
- Start doing the damn thing – put in the work practicing those good habits, whatever they may be for you
- Be consistent
- Think about how your “bad” habits are really serving you
- Start looking for things to replace bad habits with, if not done already
- Consider the pleasure vs. pain cycle
Thanks for reading!
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