Why am I not motivated?! How do I get motivated?! Do I need to be motivated all the time in order to stay on track?
Common questions I hear from time to time, and also ones I used to ask myself, as well.
What exactly is motivation, and how do you “get” it?
Motivation exists in everyone, some more than others. And if you feel like you’re lacking it, it can be built.
Before I get into that, let’s break down essentially what motivation is.
WHAT IS MOTIVATION
Motivation is simply having the desire or drive to do something in order to achieve some expected reward (goal, victory, etc). I don’t know if that’s the actual definition.. Lol, but that’s motivation pretty much summed up.
The next thing about motivation that I think is pretty cool, is how it works in the brain.
If you did some reading around about the brain, you might stumble upon the fact that dopamine (a chemical in the brain that’s known to be associated with pleasurable experiences) is actually associated with motivation, pursuit, and drive.
I was intrigued to learn about this connection. And it makes a lot of sense when you think about the various pleasurable things in life that can easily spark drive or pursuit in us to get or achieve those things – cravings for junk food, substance abuse, getting an insane pump in the gym, ha, etc.
So basically, motivation comes from having the desire for a certain, pleasurable, outcome, which then creates that motivation, or the drive, to then pursue that outcome.
That’s pretty much motivation in a nutshell.
So then how does someone build motivation? I have come up with some tips and things to think about that just might help build that drive inside you!
TIPS FOR BUILDING MOTIVATION
HAVE A VALUABLE DESIRE/GOAL
Since motivation is born out of having a desire for some goal, or outcome, it’s important that the goal – especially a more long-term goal – has value.
This simply means that the desired outcome is worth more than what it will take, or the time it might take, to achieve that outcome – essentially something that means a lot to you, but requires effort and/or patience.
This could be small things that take effort but need to be done like daily chores, cleaning, etc, or bigger things that take effort, time, and patience, like a fitness or health transformation, or learning a new skill/hobby.
This is important because if you don’t have real value in your goals, then it will be easier to give up on them when times get tough.
A good example of a goal not having real value is when someone wants to get in shape just to impress someone else, rather than get in shape for themselves.
When times get tough, that “other person” won’t be there, making it easy to quit. But if they’re doing it for themselves, they will always be there to keep themselves accountable, and to get through those tough times, making it more likely that they’ll stay the course.
This is reminiscent of those classic sayings: “keep your eyes on the prize/horizon.”
This brings us to the next tip, regarding times being tough, or not being motivated all the time.
YOU WILL NOT BE MOTIVATED ALL THE TIME
This is another important thing to know about motivation, is that you will not feel it all the time.
Motivation comes and goes. Think of it just like another emotion you have that also comes and goes. This is important to know so you don’t get discouraged and feel like quitting.
The good times will come just like the bad times will. The important thing is to not let them break you. As long as you stay the course, motivation will not only always come back, but it will build on itself over time.
Speaking of not being motivated, and things getting tough, the next tip is about not only dealing with those times, but also embracing them.
EMBRACE THE SUCK
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase. It just refers to accepting the fact that things will be tough at times – motivation will fade, sacrifice can be tough, change can be hard, etc.
This is a fact. Meaning, when times get tough, it’s normal. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to get through them, or that you should quit, it just means you have to accept them as a reality, and know that they will pass.
The reason this is important for motivation is because doing things that are hard, and going through tough times, not only makes you resilient (ability to “bounce” back), but also builds character, and creates pride.
Resilience, character, and pride build confidence.
This confidence proves that you can not only take on challenges, but get through them.
Thus, creating a drive to take on more challenges with the belief and confidence that you can get through those as well.
This translates to all challenges and tough times. From the challenges in daily life to the challenges faced when taking on big goals.
Just embrace the suck and you will most likely thank yourself later.
REALIZE TIME IS YOUR BEST ASSET
The thing about time is that it gives us the opportunity to do and achieve whatever we want in life, however, it’s running out second by second.
There will come a time in everyone’s life, where they have plenty of opportunities to achieve great things, and go many directions in life. This can last for years and years.
Eventually, however, there will also come a time in everyone’s life where those certain opportunities are no longer available. And only for the simple fact that time ran out.
The other thing about time, is that once it runs out, we obviously can’t “turn the clock back”. It’s too late.
And the other big motivating thing about time is that nobody knows exactly when their time will be up – not to get dark, but unfortunately that is reality.
That’s why time is your best asset, and why it can be so motivating when you really put it into perspective.
Knowing that it’s running out, and there’s no going back, can be a great motivator for going after your goals, and giving it all you have, while you have the time to.
DON’T ALWAYS GIVE IN TO CHEAP PLEASURES
This one I wouldn’t have thought of if I never learned about the motivation-dopamine connection in the brain, but I feel like it’s important.
One reason, especially in today’s society, that people find it hard to get motivated for long term goals is because they’re constantly surrounded by quick and easy pleasures, that overtime, can adapt the dopamine (and motivation) system to always want to seek out those quick and easy pleasures, while making it harder to be motivated for things that take time, and effort – such as long-term goals, cleaning, preparing and cooking a healthy meal, building or creating something, etc.
Knowing this can help you to be more mindful of what types of pleasures, or rewards, you tend to be drawn to.
Try to limit the amount of quick and easy pleasures you’re drawn to, and try to improve on things that take some time and/or effort to achieve before the reward comes.
Some quick and easy pleasures are things like:
- Mindless social media scrolling
- Pulling out your phone while using the bathroom, elevator, etc
- Substance use
- Junk food
- Too much TV or video games
Try to limit these types of activities!
PAY ON YOUR TERMS
Everything in life has a cost. If it’s not money, it’s in the form of something else: your time, your health, your energy, your sanity, lol, etc.
The thing about non-monetary costs is that we can either make the required payments on our terms – usually in the form of effort/hard work, dedication, sacrifice, etc. otherwise life will force us to pay against our terms later in life.
The best example of this is taking control of our health. Our health is an investment. It requires time, energy, and effort to manage – time and effort to exercise, eat healthy, avoid junk food, build healthy habits, etc.
For a lot of people, these things are too hard. But what they don’t realize is how much harder their life will potentially be later on – frequent Dr. visits, meds for high blood pressure or cholesterol, risks of diabetes, weak immune system, weak bones, weak cardiovascular system, insecure about body, the list can really go on, and on, and on, and on…
And these are their “payments” they are now forced to make.
In my opinion, the payments of time and effort to maintain a healthy lifestyle don’t even come close to the potential payments I’d have to make later on if I chose to throw my health away for quick comforts and pleasures.
Health is just one example. But again, virtually everything in life has a cost. Make sure to pay on your terms.
NEVER WONDER “WHAT IF?”
The idea behind this tip is the nightmarish scenario that you never end up going for your goals, or never took advantage of the opportunities that you had, or the time that you had, and are now plagued with the forever unanswered question of, “what if?”.
What if I had gone for my goals? What if I just set fear and excuses aside and just went for it? What if I hadn’t wasted so much time? What if this.. What if that…
These are questions that can never be answered. Because time has expired, and the windows of opportunity are closed.
NEVER LIVE IN REGRET
This one pretty much ties the rest together, and is a bit of a continuation of never wondering “what if”. And it takes the nightmarish scenario up a notch.
Not only do you never want to wonder “what if”, but when you do – since these questions have no answers – you’re left with the haunting feeling of regret.
Time has run out.
The windows of opportunity are tightly closed.
You never made the “payments” you should and could have by doing what was hard, and by putting in the time and effort.
Life has now put you in a situation you can no longer control.
Now you look back and wonder “what if”?
And rather than living the life you could have, and having a peace of mind, you’re forever stuck with unanswered questions, and the overwhelming feeling of regret.
Let me tell you this is not the reality you want to live
TAKEAWAYS
Motivation is within us all. We just have to know how to build it.
It’s important to have a goal that has value.
Use that value to pursue that goal, knowing and accepting that things will get tough, or that it might take some effort and/or time.
This will help build confidence and more motivation.
Don’t give in too much to quick and easy pleasures.
And whatever you do, try to avoid the haunting reality of living in regret, wondering, “what if?”.
The EEENNND! Thanks for reading! Hopefully some of my tips are helpful in building motivation in your life!